Road Rash Reviews

Colonials UK Digital Review***--

Cert 15 | 80 mins | 2023

3 star ambitious but chaotic science fiction film.

Colonials is a 2023 Sci-fi film written by Cyrus Cheek (Through War) and Joe Bland (Ellipse), who also directs alongside Andrew Balek (Outer Range).

It is available to stream on UK Digital Platforms from 17th April 2023 courtesy of Reel 2 Reel films.

“Listen. Your role on this mission will determine the fate of humanity.”


As the film opens we see debris floating in space, a voice warns that the Exiles have taken everyting and the Earth lies in ruins.

Silas (Greg Kriek – Homestead, Night of the Witch) is a young Colonial from Mars. Unaware of the situation, he has been dispatched to Earth along with his squad mates Allie (Cass Huckabay – Outsiders) and Jessie (Kate De Paz) in order to find out what has happened to the people of Earth since they left. It will also serve as a kind of test, succesful completion of the mission will result in their promotion to full fledged Colonials.

To help on the mission (and babysit Silas) they have a robot assistant/alarm clock called Spark (John Provost – Lassie (TV series)) who is there to keep things on track. However, things soom get out of hand when the ship is attacked by The Exiles, a militant and technologically superior group based on the Moon and Silas finds himself stranded alone on Earth.

He is found by Zoey (Jamie Bernadette –  I Spit on Your Grave: Deja Vu) and Thomas (Bryon Tobin), members of a resistance movement against The Exiles and taken to meet their leader Rhea (Jennifer Willis – Too Soon, We Are the Missing) but cannot be of any help as he has lost his memory. The Exiles are in pursuit in the form of Raven (Allie Ayers – No Way Out), a proper nineties baddy in figure hugging black pleather with matching lippie. Can this unlikely bunch save humanity?

“I’m going to need you to behave. You’re about to meet the leader of the resistance.”

Colonials obviously has lofty goals, unfortunately it fails to meet them on almost every level. The special effects are ambitious but just look weird, the CGI and live action fit together awkwardly and don’t really portray the world we are invited to explore. That said, there are some things which do work really well such as the robot Spark.

Also an issue is the script, the misguided attempts at humour only serve to detract from what is otherwise an interesting (if not overly original) idea for a story. It may have been better to decide whether or not they wanted to be taken seriously. The acting is also a little over zealous in places and feels a bit made for TV.

A little more thought into the story and a little less reliance on CGI, maybe even some practical effects would have made this a much better film. This being said though, it’s action packed and entertaining enough and probably still worth a watch if you fancy a bit of popcorn sci-fi.

“You serious? So, I’m a space man, sitting with another space man, sipping tea in the middle of…um…”

Colonials is available to stream now on UK Digital Platforms.

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DirectorAndrew Balek, Joe Bland
StarringGreg Kriek, Jon Provost, Jamie Bernadette, Bryon Tobin, Sean Kanan
Category: Digital, film, Review